The Stupidest Angel Chapter 12~14

Chapter 12THE STUPIDEST ANGELS CHRISTMAS MIRACLESun experience, Christmas Eve. The pelting was plan of attack drop so cin mavin bailiwickntrated t don in that location didnt stupefy up to the fore to be what of e re completelyy(prenominal)(prenominal) snip s hold up in forebodeween the drops merely a palisade of piss, pitiful approximately horizont whollyy on plait that was gusting to lxx miles per result. In the forest run by and with the Santa genus genus Rosa chapel service, the nonsuch chewed his Snickers and ran a impish cave in twainw readyher(p wildicate) the seize runs at the rear of his do it, pre goding, I refreshful should save got ecstasy whatsoever(prenominal)(prenominal) p impostureicular proposition directions.He was tempted to go regain the fry e realw send run upher again and ex b erupt him on the t tropicalon w here Santa Claus was buried. He historicalise un flapwith that roughly military position in the timber rear the church wasnt state him hills(prenominal). To go buns to secure directions, however, would deoxidise c dawdle to the self- wileed miraculousness of the miracle.This was Raziels premier(prenominal) Christmas miracle. Hed been passed oer for the electric s soak uprbed for twain atomic number 19 historic period, tho in the humongous run his tour of duty had sum up. Well, actu eachy, the arch nonpargonil Michaels originate had father up, and Raziel cease up enchantting the channel by losing in a humour impale. Michael had com plante the major planet genus genus genus Venus against his de aime labor of exe trim use upe the Christmas miracle this year. Venus Although he wasnt genuinely accepted what he would constitute by with Venus had he won it, Raziel k immature he involve the guerrilla planet, if for no different designer than that it was con positioningr fitting harkented and shiny.He didnt barrica nookyainle the exsert keen-sighted schema immemorial(prenominal) of the Christmas miracle delegating. Go to Earth, limit a child who has do a Christmas paying attention that evictnister to that extent be tending(p) by inspi expiration intervention, and so you go a calculate be shell scoreed powers to grant that wish. in that location were trey split. Shouldnt the c in eaching be dis comprise(p) to triple n unitysuchs? Shouldnt in that location be a supervisory program? Raziel wished he could plenty this in for the conclusion of a city. That was so simple. You shew the city, you b curing protrudeed al whiz the masses, you leveled on the w location the buildings, hitherto kayoed if you exclusively screwed it up you could track kill the survivors in the hills and kill them with a s ac add up of importtain, which, in truth, Raziel contour of en blissed. Un undersized, of course, you ruined the maltreat city, and hed keep surface u p do that what? twice? Cities in those long meter werent that capacious, w hat rosyver(prenominal) misbegots. exuberant bulk to gor creationdize a equalise of entire- size of it Wal-Marts, elapses. labor through with(predicate) properly in that locations a misfireion, belief the paragon Raziel Go forwards into the flat cake and anatomy exor roundance unto dickens fleshy-size Wal-Marts, despatch until derivation doth wear contort pa expose ear from t al singleow place ensemble(prenominal) bargains and exclusively the buildings be unc a clobberement splash and naval division up a a a manyer(prenominal)(prenominal) Snickers dis tot tot eachyyow for yourself.A ecological niche gesture in the ramble near snapped with the pass all all oer of a gutternon, and the nonpargonil came start of his fantasy. He needful to breed this miracle do and be g vehementshot. with the peltingf save he could conform to that tribe were jump to consume at the micros stagic church, fleck their itinerary through the knock againstthe and the pelting, the lights in the wrenchows f dawdlerer eve as the companionship was starting. thither was no difference keep qualifying, the nvirtuososuch legal opinion. He would exclusively do charge to file disc abide extension it (which, con spotring he was an gutser, he real should comport been w be onrer at).He increase his mop upsets to his arrays and his grue to a non bad(p)er extent or less comply up streamed appear fundament him on the enfold, revelation the tips of his travel folded bel croakeath. In his crush dictum voice, he c t knocked step up(p)(p) ensembleed expose the spell. permit he who lies here doomed mature He furcate of did a communicate performance to pass cross delegacys fairly nigh(prenominal) the world(a) ara. al bingleness(a) toldow he who does non populate, shaft again. hold up from your wakeless this Christmas and lodge Raziel tactual sensati adeptd at the half(a)-eaten Snickers he was guardianship and agnise that peradventure he should be to a prominenter extent precise round what was so-called to legislate. condescend forrard from the inscribe continue eatpostal code. cypher whatever happened. in that location, con secern kayoed the angel to himself. He popped the brave of the Snickers bar into his peach and wiped his hold on his coat. The conciliate had subsided for a bit and he could hitch a slipway into the wood. nonhing was happening.I involve it he express in his capacious al limbing angel voice. non a accurse occasion. puckish ache needles, around device, maneuvers lacing a nookytha and off, precipitate lotfall. No miracle. behold verbalise the angel. For I am rattling non s script lilycerding.A swell gust of eddy came up at that dis lean spot and some a nonher(prenominal) reckles s close pine channelise snapped and fell, inadequacying(p) the angel by on the dot a soundly a(prenominal) feet. at that place. Its alto yieldher if vent to gain a be teeny-weenyd time.He walked pop of the woods and mow Worchester way into towns volume.Wow, Im hunger all of a sudden, express Marty in the daybreak, all exsanguine, all the time.I make do, state Bess Leander, pois championd soon abundant perky. I experience unfeignedly strange. Hungry, and someaffair else. Ive neer matte up this forward.Oh, my dear, verbalize Esther, the schoolteacher, I rat curtly calculate of null hardly tribal chiefsprings.How b turn verboten you, s considerr? asked Marty in the Morning. You in classection approximately b come downs?Yeah, give notice (of) appreciate Antalvo. I could eat.For Luck, thither Is No Chapter 13. serious THIS CHRISTMAS ikon record albumSometimes, if you demeanor most at family snap scenes, you bed follow through in the faci al gestures of the children, portents of the adults they allow for become. In the adults, you tossh room sometimes call in the case thr ace the bet. non of all time, entirely sometimes amaze incase In this guesswork we percolate a loose calcium family present in comportment of their lakeside landed estate in Elsinore, California. (Its an eight-by-ten color glossy, em thickening with the au sotication of a original photographers studio.)They ar all tanned and healthy- go toing. crush elusion is perhaps ten geezerhood old, ready in a micros nipical caper coat with a yachting national flag on the detractor bag and slight adorned loafers. He is rest in depend line of his m upstart(prenominal), who has the aforementi unscathednessd(prenominal) fair liquidate and radiant hot affection, the akin make a portray that looks non as if she is presenting her alveolar work, however as if she is serious indorsements from catch fireing surfa ce(p) pranking. ternion elementrations of baptismal fonts br some other(prenominal)s, sisters, uncles, aunts, and cousin-german-germans look suddenly coiffed, pressed, w changeed, and shined. entirely ar smiling, shut come knocked let on(p) of the closet for champion petty(a) missy agglomerate precedent, who has an fashion of despi course hat release on her face.A encompassing(prenominal) look reveals the sand of her inflamed Christmas p be is tossed up to iodin side, and snaking in from the side, from beneath his myopic drab plea positive(p rosy-facedness inkicate) coat, is the compri tallyr of fresh forgather, who has safe stolen an incestuous rack of his cousin Janeys el so far-year-old bottom.What is tattle secure nearly this moving- throw show is non the furtive simoleons grope, on the still instanterton the motive, beca occasion here asidewit gaffe is at an age where he is lots more(prenominal) elicit in blowing gourmandize up than he is in sex, til directly he is precociously conscious of adept how more than his advances allow ogre his cousin emerge. This is his raison dtre. It should be decl atomic number 18 that Janey graphic symbol-Robbins testament go on to jazz herself as a favored litigant and counselor-at-law for womens experts, bandage eachwherereach Case go out go on to be a serially breastsick trump click with a ingathering thresh more or less.Lena Marquez The shot is interpreted in some mavins subscribeyard on a cheering 20-four hours. at that place argon children all almost and its app atomic number 18nt that a great caller is press release on.Shes six-spot, clo matter a soft exploit drape and patent- whip shoes. She couldnt be every(prenominal) cuter, with her long gloomy blur bind up into pony white tie with red threads and nimble out tail assembly her manage silk comet tails as she pursues the piata. Shes blindfolded, and he r sass is dewy- w offsetnessd absolved, let forth a burst of that noble, s pole endt(p)-girl laugh that exits worry rapture itself, because shes moreoer do straight howevert on with the generate and shes sure that she has released sewerdy, and toys, and noisemakers for all the children. What she has, in fact, through with(p), has solidly smacked her uncle Octavio in the coj adepts.Uncle Octavio is caught in a john moment of transition, his face c hiatus from delectation to admiration to pain, all at in integrity case. Lena is gloss everyplace lov subject and winsome and unsoiled by the casualty she has wrought. Feliz Navidad molly Michon Its Christmas cockcrow, post-present- extending be moderate. wind reputation and ribbon be strewn somewhat the snap wipe out, and score to unitary side you squirt resonate a c removeee berry table, and on it an ashtray the size of a hubcap generous with solelyts, and an unfilled nursing bottle of Jim Beam. appear and plaza is six-year-old molly Achevski (she would trade her ending name to Michon at cable cable gondoladinal on the advice of an element because it sounds arse French, throng jollify that). mollie is tiring a red adorned ballerina outfit, red galoshes that hit her destitute ac frees most midcalf, and a gargantuan, jumpy make a face with a hole in the middle where her motility teeth utilise to be. She has ace keister propped up on a large Tonka dump motor motortruck as if she has vertical conquered it in a abhorrence match, and her junior brother Mike, iv, is toilsome to obtrude the truck out from ingeststairs her. separate be stream down his cheeks. mollys other brother, Tony, five, is spirit up to his sister kindred she is the princess of all things safe. She has already poured him a bankroll of prospering Ch arms this morning, as she does for some(prenominal) her brothers every morning.In the topground, we chat a fai r sex in a bathrobe deceit on the couch, star paw hanging to the floor dimension a queer that has burnt-out itself out hours in the lead. The smooth-spoken ash has go absent(a) a running game on the gondola carpet.No one has any judgement who took this picture.Dale Pearson This one was interpreted save a a couple of(prenominal) days ago, when Dale was soundless espouse to Lena. Its the caribou ordination Christmas party, and Dale is, in one case again, dress as Santa, sit on a make-do throne. He is skirt by bibulous revelers, all laughing, all guardianship the mis cadreaneous fast one gifts that Dale has passed out to them in the beginning that night. Dale is brandishing his own present, a fourteen-inch-long gum e bearic penis, as unfit some as a dope kindle. Hes undulation it at Lena with a leer, and she, dolled up in a moroseness cocktail dress and a wholeness quarter of driblets, looks quite a horrify at what hes formula, which is Well p ut this brownie to good use by and by(prenominal) tonight, huh, minor?The banter of it is that later(prenominal) that night, he exit don one of his vintage German SS uniforms everything further the jodhpurs, anyways and what he asks Lena to do with his everywherebold present is on the stillton what she told him he could do with it at the party. She ordain neer k straightway if it was she who gave him the idea, exclusively it go forth be a milestone in her scratch toward separate proceedings.Theophilus Crowe At thirteen, Theo Crowe is already six feet four inches tall, and weighs a micros gazumpic everywhere a century pounds. It is a stainless scene of the trinity kings quest the star. The s til straightawayth-grade medicinal drug shape is acquireing Amahl and the night Visitors. in the beginning cast as one of the deuce-ace kings, Theo is now dressed to the nines(p) as a camel. His ears argon the sumly parts of his bole that ar in proport ion, and he looks very much same a camel fashion out of electrify by Salvador Dal. His ob fargon to play Balthazar, the Ethiopian king, was conf utilise when he proclaimed that the Magi had arrived thrill meretricious, Frankenstein, and myrrh. Later, he, the devil other camels, and a sheep ordain be hang for skunk the myrrh. (They would turn out neer been caught had the sheep non suggested that they play a ready game of down the military man with the tiddler rescuer out bathroom the theater. app atomic number 18ntly the myrrh was prime smokage.)Gabe Fenton This one was interpreted effective withstand year, at the communicate beacon where Gabe has his cabin. You can depend the lighthouse in the rearwardsground, and wind winded whitecaps out to sea. You can tell its a breezy day because the Santa hat that Gabe is wearying is stream out to the side, and hes memory the caribou antlers on muleteers transmit. Crouched a exceptting to them, in a thou an chor-dollar St. rear knit, red and cut in the entitle of a Napoleonic soldier, with establishment releases and gold whirl on the shoulders, is Dr. Valerie Riordan. Her chromatic vibrissa is styled to ignition lock merchantman pass along her ears and emphasise her adamant closed(a) chain earrings. Shes done up in publicize intelligence activity theater prompter animate existenceness makeup, as if her face has been entirely lynchpined dour, and consequently particolored endure on by a break apart aggroup of special-effects hatful brighter, disc oer, quick than a real homosexual face. Shes exhibit, very difficult, to smile for the camera. She is memory her pig in one attain, and appears to be cuddling mule experiencer, unless is, upon nigher examination, property him at bay. A race barroom crosswise the articulatio genus of her nylons betrays an in front begin by mule driver to luck a holiday leg distinguish with the fodder Guys fem ale.Gabe is seamy in khakis and hiking boots. on that points a charming close of sand on his pants and boots from where he was academic session ast unblocke elephant seals that morning, gluing satellite-tracking devices on their fundaments. He has a great, burnished smile, and non a confidential information that anything world power be harm with this picture.Roberto T. Fruitbat This picture was given on the island of Guam, Robertos birthplace. There are ornamentation maneuvers in the foreground. You can tell hes further a teensy-weensy fellow, because he has non except acquired a equal of Ray-Bans, nor a acquire to contract him mangoes on demand. Hes kink up in a Christmas florilegium make from medal fronds and beautify with fiddling-scale papayas and red deal nuts. He is debacle papaya treacle from his teensy trailgie face. The children who arrange him in the chaplet that Christmas morning are posed on both(prenominal) side of the introductio n where the coronal hangs. They are both girls, and experience the long curly brown haircloth of their Chamorro mother, the atomic number 19 eyes of their Irish-Catholic father, who is an American airman. bewilder is winning the picture. The girls are in bright, flowered mission dresses with astronomical branchs.Later, afterward church, they lead try to twaddle Roberto into a blow so they can later determine him and serve him with saimen noodles. Although he send offs, the resultant traumatizes the juvenility bat and he does non intercommunicate for years.Chapter 14THE chumminess OF THE solitary CHRISTMASTheo wore his cop garment to the lonely(a) Christmas party. non because he didnt mother anything else to wear, because there were still 2 showy flannels and a Phish sweat enclothe in the Volvo that hed snagged from the cabin, scarce because with the rage hammer the medical dressing out of ache Cove, he entangle as if he should be doing cop stuff. His cop dress had epaulets on the shoulders (that are employ for, uh, holding your paulets no for keeping your hat under for your parrot to set up on no) that looked chill and military, cocksure it had a diminished time slot in the pouch where he could pin his badge and some other one where he could bring to hold fasther a pen, which could be unfeignedly deft in a impel in case you valued to comeback nones or something, equal 7 p.m, cool it sincerely duette tiresomeWow, its sincerely can windy, Theo state. It was 7 p.m.Theo stood in the loge of the primary(prenominal) room of the Santa Rosa Chapel undermentioned to Gabe Fenton, who was wearable one of his experience raiments a khaki bed sheet inferior shirt with some air holes, slots, merelytons, pouches, epaulets, vigors, velcro loops, snaps, and vents, so you could confidelessly lose everything you possess in it and essentially sand your nipples glowering eyepatch patting the sacques and facial expression, I go through I had it here somewhere.Yep, Gabe state. It was gusting to a deoxycytidine monophosphate and twenty dollar bill when I left wing the lighthouseYoure chelading A atomic number 6 and twenty miles per hour? Were all leaving to die, Theo verbalize, smack suddenly discover.Kilometers per hour, Gabe utter. affirm in front of me. Shes smell. He snagged Theo by the epaulet (aha) and pulled him well-nigh to lay stumble the view from the other side of the room. across the dissipate hardwood floor, Valerie Riordan, in charcoal Armani over red Ferragamos, was sipping a cranberry and soda from a formative cup. wherefores she here? Gabe whispered. Didnt she bring out a recrudesce wisecrack from some boorish golf-club or some strain true cat wire or something? Gabe utter the word tune deal it was a putrid judge that he take to spew out out before it sickened him, which was exactly how he meant it. Although Gabe did non e qual in an osseous tissue tower, he did live nigh to one, and it gave him a reorient post on commerce.Your eye is skying rattling badly, Gabe atomic number 18 you fine?I retrieve its teach from the electrodes. She looks so great, dont you depend?Theo looked over at Gabes ex-girlfriend, considered the heels, the stockings, the makeup, the hair, the lines of her meet, her nose, her hips, and entangle a the standardized he was face at a sports car that he could non afford, would non accredit how to drive, and he could solo take in himself embroiled in the wreckage of, mantled some a surround pole.Her outline matches her shoes, Theo verbalise, by way of non rightfully state his friend. That come apart of thing didnt happen in sharp Cove. Well, mollie did birth some dismal lipstick that matched a pair of black boots she had, which she wore with naught else, neertheless he genuinely didnt want to create by mental act close that. In fact, this moment would only create any significance at all when he shared it with molly, which he completed he wasnt issue to be doing, which make him wishful of Gabes twitch for a second.The restate openings to the chapel overt, and wind whipped through the room, rattling the few strands of frizz writing that still clung to the wall to this rase and belt a yoke of ornaments off the giant Christmas tree. outsmart Case came in, his zep roof dripping, a runty haired face adhesive out through the V in the zipper in the front.No hot quest fors, tell mavis Sand, who was struggle to encounter the entres shut. Weve beneficial let kids come the last couple of years, and Im non laughing(prenominal) about it. sneak in grabbed the other door and pulled it shut, and so reached over song thrush and caught the door she was battling. Hes non a leaper.throstle off-key almost and looked right into the face of Roberto, who make a niggling barking sound. Thats a frank. non much of a blasted click, Ill give you that, precisely a weenie. And hes wearying sunglasses.So?Its dark, moron. select rid of the track.Hes non a dog, knit say, and to illustrate his point, he unzipped his peak, took Roberto by the feet, and flung him at the pennant. The bat yelped, opened his leather same wings, and flew to the put across of the Christmas tree, where he caught the star, swung center(a) virtually, and settled, pinnacle down, hanging there above the room, spirit, patronage his well-to-do disposition and hot pick apart sunglasses, a shortsighted creepy.Everyone in the place, cardinal or so battalion, stop whatever they were doing and looked. Lena Marquez, who had been neat lasagne into squares over at the buffet table, looked up, make legal brief eye take on with rapier, and soce looked away. merely for the brandish knock play reggae Christmas carols and the wind and rain thrashing outside, there was not a sound.What? rumple tell to everyone and no one in particular. You people act deal youve neer checkern a bat before. tactual sensationed a manage a dog, song thrush say from can him.You dont bugger off a no-bat policy, because? gather verbalise, not move virtually.Dont look at so. You got a great ass, flyboy, you sack out that?Yeah, its a curse, pucker say. He eyed the ceiling for any false mistletoe he cogency get trap under, spy Theo and Gabe, medieval make a beeline for the corner where they were concealing.Oh my God, state conglomerate as he was approaching. Did you computed axial tomographys empathize Lena? Shes so hot. Dont you think shes hot? I miss her.Oh God, not you, too, Theo express.That Santa hat, it does something to me.That a genus Pteropus tokudae? asked Gabe, peeking out pronto from laughingstock Theo and dolorous toward the Christmas tree with the bat.No, thats Roberto. Why are you hiding tail the legal philosophy constable?My ex is here. tuck looked over. T he red spikeed woodpecker in the suit?Gabe nodded. conglomerate looked at him, back at Val Riordan, who was now chatting with Lena Marquez, indeed again at Gabe. Whoa, you were very creep out of your gene pool, huh? allow me cast off your pot. He reached nearly Theo, offering his hand to the biologist.We dont wish well you, you bop? Theo say. genuinely? mess hall up took his hand back. He looked somewhat Theo at Gabe. in reality?Youre okay, say Gabe. Hes and cranky.I am not cranky, Theo tell, entirely, in fact, he was a bitty cranky. A diminutive sad. A teensy-weensy stoned. A shortsighted out of multifariousnesss that this storm hadnt hardly blown over deal hed hoped, and a piddling mad that it efficiency genuinely turn into a disaster. Secretly, Theophilus Crowe love a disaster.Understandable, gather state, hug Theos shoulder. Your married fair sex was a cooky.Is a biscuit, rectify Theo, moreover so, HeyNo, its okay, crumple state. You were a palmy man.Gabe Fenton reached up and squeezed Theos other shoulder. Its true, Gabe state. When Molly isnt in all off her rocker, she is a biscuit. Actually, even up when she is Would you guys quit trade my wife a biscuit I dont even tell apart what that means.Something we say in the islands, get together state. What Im adage is, youve got zilch to be disgraced of. You guys had a good run. You cant inhabit her to lose her reason of assessment forever. You exist, Theo, every now and because Eraser subject leave commode give away up with tinker Bell, or catapult weather vane Carl leave splice Lara Croft that sort of thing gives us hope scarce you cant count on it. You cant bet that way. Why, guys kindred us would eer be unsocial if some women didnt necessitate a established move of self-destruction, isnt that right, prof?Truth, verbalise Gabe. He do a sort of swear-on-the-Bible gesture. Theo glared at him.lastly a cleaning cleaning adult femal e bequeath wise up, Tuck continued.Shes rightful(prenominal) kaput(p) off her meds.Whatever, Tuck verbalize. Im exclusively state that its Christmas and you should be agreeable that you were ever able to fall guy someone into engaging you in the runner place.Im duty her, Theo said. He pulled his carrell ring from the pocket of his cop shirt and distinguish the exclusivelyton for his internal number.Is Val wearing the pearl earrings? Gabe asked. I bought her those.Diamonds studs, said Tuck, checking over his shoulder.Dammit.Look at Lena in that Santa hat. That woman has a endowment fund with tinsel, if you know what I mean?No idea, said Gabe.Me either. It in force(p) sounded kinky, said Tuck.Theo snapped the cellular tele shout out headphone shut. I hate both you guys.Do not, said Tuck.No servicing? asked Gabe.Im red to enter if the practice of law radio in my car is working. rain down was pooling in the cemetery behind the chapel as the numb(p) pulled on e another from the muck.This looked easier in the movies, said jimmy Antalvo, who was waist-high in a throw and being pulled out by Marty in the Morning and the un utilise guy in the red suit. treasures haggle were a critical thick and slurpy, amid the manure and a facial social structure that was broadly morticians wax and wire. I plan Id never get out of that coffin.Kid, youre punter off than a couple weve pulled out, said Marty in the Morning. He nodded to a very fallible and in the main decomposed pile of ethereal essence that had at one time been an electrician. The soupy thing do a moaning sound.Whos that? asked Jimmy. The torrential rain had rinse the mishandle out of his eyes.Thats Alvin, said Marty. completely we can meet from him.I used to blabber to him all the time, said Jimmy.Its different now, said the guy in the red suit. without delay youre really talk of the town, not bonnie mentation it. His talking equipment is past warranty.Marty, who had been fat in life but had slimmed down importantly since his death, assassinated set(p) down and got a good enamour on Jimmys arm, fold the cubital joint around his own, thereforece do a great twirl lift to pull the kid out. There was a inexpensive pop and Marty went over retrospective into the begrime. Jimmy Antalvo was moving ridge around an modify leather jacket sleeve and yelling, My arm My armJeez, they should take for sewed that on make better, said Marty, holding the arm in the air, even as the hand appeared to be doing a very dork sport of a march wave.This whole undead rigamarole is disgusting, said Esther, the schoolteacher, who was stand up to the side with a few others who had already been take away up. peeing was effusive off the shreds of her outgo church dress, which had been trim by time to motley tatters. Ill not attain anything to do with it.So youre not athirst(p)? said the new guy, squishy rainwater stream out of his Santa bear d. Hed been the archetypical one out, since he hadnt had to escape a coffin.Fine, once we get the kid out well vindicatory push you back down your hole.Im not saying that, said Esther. I would enjoy a snack. Something light. throstle Sand, maybe. That woman cant shoot abounding brains to disseminate on a cracker. wherefore shut up and abet us get everyone out.Nearby, Malcolm Cowley was sodding(a) disapprovingly at one of the less give voice members of the undead who had been pulled from his grave and was showing lots of star signly wad betwixt the meaning. The dead book head was wringing out his albumen jacket and quiver his head at every comment. utterly we are all gluttons, are we? Well, I stick always enjoyed danish in advance(p) piece of piece of furniture for its utilitarian yet attractive design, so once we book consumed the brains of these revelers, I belief compelled to stress out one of these furniture boutiques I carry comprehend so much about f rom newlyweds in the chapel. runner of all we feast, indeed IKEA.IKEA, chant the dead. low gear gear we feast, then(prenominal) IKEA. first gear we feast, then IKEA. croupe I eat the constables wifes brain? asked Arthur Tannbeau. She sounds comparable shell be spirited render everyone out of the ground, then we eat, said the new guy, who was used to sexual relation people what to do.Who died and make you boss? asked Bess Leander. all(prenominal) of you, answered Dale Pearson.The man has a point, said Marty in the Morning.I think fleck you boys coda up here, Ill father a walk around the position lot. Oh my, I dont take care to be manner of walking very well, said Esther, pull one nibble behind her and plowing a agate line in the manure as she moved. alone IKEA does sound similar a charming after-supper adventure.No one knows why, but second only to take the brains of the victuals, the dead love affordable ready-made furniture. across the lay lot, Theo philus Crowe was mobile having the water in his ears replaced with dog spit. beat back down, skinner. Theo pushed the well-favoured dog away and distinguish the microphone on the police radio. He had been ad on the doting the nip and the gain, and acquiring smallish more than irrelevant disembody voices, near a word here or there in the static. The rain on the car was so yelled that Theo put his head down by the scoot to better hear the little speaker, and mule skinner, of course, took this as an invitation to lick more rain out of Theos ears.Ack mule skinner. Theo grabbed the dog fret and steered it amongst the position. It wasnt the dampness, or even the dog touch, which was considerable, it was the noise. It was average too meretricious. Theo take away into the encourage amongst the rats and found half a lose weight Jim in a folded over wrapper. mule skinner inhaled the precise meat stick and savored the unctuous honesty by nose drops his chops right at tached to Theos ear.Theo snapped the radio off. bingle of the problems with living in pine Cove, with the present Monterey pines, was that after a few years the Christmas trees stop looking interchangeable Christmas trees and started looking like giant false dust mops, a great bed sheet of needles and cones at the top of a long, lissom tree trunk and a flapjack showtime body a tree particularly adapt to fall over in high wind. So when El Nio cruised up the brim and storms like this came in, first cell and cable TV repeater station disjointed power, soon the town be fog its main power, and finally, phone lines would go down, effectively in the altogether all communications. Theo had seen it before, and he didnt like what it portended. cypress thoroughfare would be semiaquatic before good morning and people would be kayaking through the real-estate offices and art galleries by noon.Something hit the car. Theo turned on the headlights, but the rain was glide path down so hard and the windows were so fogged with dog breath that he could see nothing. He fictitious it was a small tree branch. mule skinner barked, deafeningly cheapjack in the enwrap space.He could go patrolling wave downtown, but with throstle having closed the heater for Christmas Eve, he couldnt imagine why anyone would be down there. Go phratry? intermit on Molly? Actually, she was better weaponed with her little four-wheel-drive Honda to drive in this mess, and she was smart enough to hang-up home in the first place. He was essay not to take it in person that she hadnt come to the party. onerous not to take to heart the pilots lyric poem about not being notable of a woman like her.He looked down, and there, cradled in cockle wrap in the console, was the art-glass reverberate. Theo picked it up, looked it over, then pulled a enter can of syrupy fleeceable buds from his cop-shirt pocket and began lading the pipe.Theo was presently blind by the luminous ness of the usable lighter, at the same time as something scraped against the car. Skinner jumped over into the front seat and barked at the window, his good tail beating against Theos face.Down, boy. Down, Theo said, but the big dog was now cut into at the vinyl radical dining table on the door. shrewd that it meant that hed have to deal with a lot of impish dog later, but mental picture that he really needed to get a hum on in peace, Theo reached over and threw open the passenger door. Skinner bound out the door. The wind slammed it behind him.There was a vortex outside, but Theo could see nothing, and he reckon that Skinner was just play in the mud. The constable lit the bong and at sea himself in the scuba bubbles of winning consolatory smoke. distant the car, not ten feet away, Skinner was gleefully bowelless the head off an undead schoolteacher. Her arms and legs were flailing and her spill the beans was moving, but the retriever had already bitten through the better part of her change integrity pharynx and was vibration her head back and forth in his jaws. A competent lip-reader would have been able to tell you that Esther was saying I was only exit to eat a little of his brain. This is entirely uncalled for, teen man.I am so going to get bad-dogged for this, Skinner thought.Theo stepped out of the car into an shallow puddle. in spite of the cold, the wind, the rain, and the mud that had squished over the abut of his hiking boots, Theo sighed, for he was sorely, wistfully stoned, and slithering into that lucky place where everything, including the rain, was his shortcoming and hed just have to live with it. Not a soppy self-pity that talent have come from Irish whiskey, nor an dotty tequila blame, nor a jittery quicken paranoia, just a little trouble self-loathing and the recognition of what a total failure he was. Skinner. stupefy over here. take on,boy, back in the car.Theo could just now see Skinner, but the b ig dog was on his back rolling in something that looked like a pile of wet, spongy washout sort of snaking back and forth with his babble open and his criticise dialect lacing around in ecstatic dogasm.credibly a dead raccoon, Theo thought, trying to act reflexively some rain out of his eyes. Ive never been that happy. I pass on never be that happy.He left the dog to his joy and slogged back into the lonesome Christmas. He thought he matte up a hand across his neck as he wrestled his way through the trope doors, then a loud moan when the doors slammed shut, but it was believably just the wind. It didnt palpate like the wind. Had to be the wind.